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bioathensTITLE: Ain't In Love, Ain't In Luck
RATING: PG-13 or light, light R.
SPOILERS: "The Last Of The Time Lords." This has nothing to do with "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang."
WARNINGS: Alien sex!
PAIRINGS: Jack/Doctor
SUMMARY:Bit off more than I can chew and I knew what it was leading to, some things, well, I can't refuse. The Doctor stops into Torchwood after Martha leaves him.
WORDS: 2900
~
The door to the Hub sang a whole concerto of noises it didn't usually make and slid open, but not before Jack was hidden in a strategic position behind a desk and waiting with a pistol ready. He was about to call out a warning when a familiar, brown-haired head poked around the corner of the hatch, and a familiar voiced called out "Ello? Is anybody in?"
Jack jumped up, before thinking that it might be a trap. It wasn't. The Doctor had come, unannounced, to Torchwood 3.
"Aha," he said, sauntering in. The door closed behind you. "Thought you might be. Not like you to leave anything unguarded." He smiled.
"Doctor!" Jack said. "This is - well - this… this is a surprise."
The Doctor waved one hand. "Sorry - I know, I should have called."
If Jack hadn't had enough gun training to make him sick, the pistol would have slipped from his fingers quite a few words ago. Instead he re-engaged the safety and laid it carefully on a desk, earmarking it to put back as soon as he no longer had the Doctor to pay attention to. Or he stopped hallucinating that the Doctor was there. "What are you doing here?"
"Noticed the light on. Thought I'd stop by." He looked thin in the Hub's lights. He didn't look frail - the Doctor never looked frail, even old and wizened and imprisoned - but he looked thin, and maybe a little tired. "You don't mind?"
"No! No, of course not." Jack forced himself to laugh to cover his confusion. "Welcome to Torchwood! It's not much, but it's home…"
The Doctor looked around, taking in everything from the cutting-edge computers to the various alien odds and ends. He examined the walls, letting his eyes float up to the cave high above. "Quite a collection of toys, Jack. Be careful with some of those. You've got something living here?"
"Always are. What?" Jack looked up. "Oh, Myfanwy. She and I are the only official residents. But you've come on the one day a week Ianto doesn't fall asleep at his desk."
"Myfanwy," the Doctor said, like he was testing the word.
"Pterodactyl," Jack said. "We kindof adopted her after we found her flying around Cardiff. She's stranded here."
"Like a lot of people," the Doctor said below his breath.
Jack decided not to ask about that, and asked about something else instead. "So, where's Martha?"
"Home," the Doctor said. He turned his neck to look at Jack. "Staying home. Her choice." His eyes stayed on Jack's eyes, and Jack knew he was alone. Alone again? And giving him one more chance, a chance that he couldn't take, so he looked away.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah." The Doctor shrugged and looked at the ceiling again. "This place… this really is a nice place you have here."
"Isn't it?" Jack said, and rubbed his hands together. "Everyone's at home. Asleep. It's just me right now." And you can stay if you want to. Even just for a bit? A day? A few hours?
"Constant vigil." The Doctor nodded. "Know the feeling."
"What are you doing here?" Jack walked toward him, waiting for him to vanish. "I thought you'd be gone as soon as you could."
"From Earth?" The Doctor looked actually surprised.
Jack nodded. "…Staying to make sure everything's all right?"
The Doctor looked very interested in something on the ceiling and ignored him.
Jack stopped the topic immediately. "Do you want coffee? We have some tea, but," he chuckled a little, "damned if I know how to make it."
"Not hard," the Doctor said, returning his eyes to Jack. "Leaves. Water. …Cups."
"Have a seat," Jack said, and waved his hand at the Hub. The Doctor raised an eyebrow at him. "Um," Jack said. "Well, I guess not here."
"No lounge?" the Doctor said. "Poor Torchwod form. Though I did notice you had a little shop…"
"Ianto's baby," Jack said with a grin. "That little information bureau. What's he selling now, pins and - "
"And those little spinny keychains!" the Doctor said, making a little spinny keychain motion with three of his fingers and his wrist. "I have to admit, I did think about lifting one."
"You forget I'm the boss of this place," Jack said. "I could get you one for free."
The Doctor laughed. "Don't cater to me; I'll put Torchwood out of business. Little keychains today, who knows what tomorrow."
"Believe me, I wouldn't mind at all." Jack looked around. "Well, if you wanted to sit… the most comfortable chairs are in my office. My room is a little more private, but…"
"Office'll do."
Jack nodded and showed him the way to the door, letting him inside and sitting on the corner of his desk. The Doctor took the arm of the couch Ianto had special-ordered weeks ago, and drummed his feet on the floor. He stopped as soon as he heard himself.
Jack coughed. "Um, so. Do you have business in Cardiff?"
The Doctor shook his head, "No, I'm just stopping by. Then I'm out again. Back on the road." He shot his hand into the air like a plane taking off.
Jack folded his arms and said the old joke. "No chance of one last shag?" He thought about that a bit more. "One first shag?"
The Doctor looked at him like he was thinking about it. Jack squirmed a bit - he didn't honestly think the Doctor would ever go for it. But then the Doctor had changed, not just in their year with the Master, but before that, too.
"Think you're up to it?"
Jack grinned, still surprised. "Up to it? Doc, you know me…"
"Might not be what you expect," the Doctor said.
"Wouldn't expect it to be."
The Doctor stood up and walked over to stand in front of Jack, feet slightly spread, and put a hand on Jack's shoulder when he tried to stand up. "Look and see."
Jack's heart jumped. He was finally being allowed - invited - to touch this man. He didn't believe it. "Really?"
The Doctor nodded and made a little noise to spur him on.
Jack reached out, resting a hand on his thigh first. The fabric of his trousers was unusually soft, but very strong. No body heat came through the fabric.
He ran his hand up the inside of the Doctor's trousers to his groin, where he felt… a bulge, but this one was skin over smooth bone. The Doctor raised an eyebrow and didn't look the least discomfited or aroused.
"How do you - " Jack said. He looked up to the Doctor's eyes and saw him smiling down at him.
"I'm a Time Lord," he said. "We don't reproduce - well, not like that, anyways. We don't bear children." He saw Jack's confused look. "We're not born. Woven together on looms." He tilted his head. "Genitals seem a bit extraneous after that, don't they?"
"Well," Jack said. "I hope you weren't teasing me, Doctor, because now I'm curious."
The Doctor glanced at the door, fingered something in his pocket, and then just locked it normally. "Just follow my lead," he said, taking off his coat and laying it on the desk.
Jack stood and pulled his coat off. "With you so far."
"Lie down," the Doctor said, motioning to his office couch. "There. On your back."
Jack swallowed. If it was anyone but the Doctor he wouldn't be nervous, but he trusted the Doctor with his life and more. He lay down on the couch, listening to the little creaks the leather made.
The Doctor sat down next to his hip, hipbones touching, and pulled off his tie. "Anxiety," he pronounced. "No judgments here." He twisted his torso to reach across Jack and snap the clips of the braces off. Jack could feel the blood pumping between his legs already.
"Do I just - " Jack said.
"Do what you like," the Doctor said. He could have said it dismissively but it sounded like an invitation. Jack reached up to take his shoulders, and the Toctor turned toward him. He pushed his hands into the couch, one on the cushion so that his cuff rubbed into Jack's neck, one on the back so the cushion pulled away from Jack's shoulder. He moved again, pulling his leg onto the couch so he straddled Jack.
Jack took his hips, steadying him while he found his balance. He was surprisingly light. But solid; he had the skin and bones and muscles from a lifetime of running and fighting and being who he was. Do what you like, Jack thought to himself, and reached up to pull the suit coat off the Doctor's thin frame. The Doctor adjusted his perch, shins and knees gripping Jack's hips and stomach.
"Why are you doing this?" Jack said. Great time to develop an insecurity, he thought. Why can't I just shut up?
"Gesture of appreciation," the Doctor said distantly. "You've had a rough year." He set to work at Jack's buttons, neatly undoing each one.
"Like you haven't," Jack said, mirroring his action and inhaling sharply as inch after inch of skin was revealed. The Doctor's skin was almost pristine. Little scars, little cuts here and there, and he touched one before guessing where it was from. "You had the worst of it."
"No," the Doctor said. He didn't sound hurt by the memory, but his voice retreated a bit more to sound even more distant. "That was Martha."
Jack continued with the buttons with one hand, one hand on the Doctor's chest, feeling him breath. No heat here, either: his skin was cool and dry, even though Jack could feel the blood running through the blood vessels, and the Doctor was moving and alive atop him. "I'm sorry."
"So am I." The Doctor sounded like they had come to some amiable agreement. He sunk down a bit, opening Jack's shirt completely. Jack found himself wishing that he'd undo certain other buttons, buttons on fabric that might be getting pretty tight. "But that's all over with."
Jack slid his hand down the Doctor's stomach, stopping just above his pelvis. "No navel?"
"Wasn't born," the Doctor said. He leaned into Jack's hand like he was trying to bring them closer together, and Jack reared up to meet him.
The Doctor laid his cheek on Jack's neck and arched his back, pressing his palms into his chest. Jack's heart sunk because he could read him too well - they were having goodbye sex, can't-stay sex, we're-alone sex, not-in-love sex, keeping air between them. The Doctor had always been so terribly alone, but this new regeneration didn't wear it as well. It was wearing on him. They were trying to be as close as they could be and still get up and leave each other forever. He was getting uncomfortably hard, but that wasn't what hurt. "You're leaving again, after this."
"That's what I told you."
Jack took the back of he Doctor's neck and rubbed his fingers right behind his ear, and the Doctor made an odd trill-y purr at the back of his neck. "Where to?" Jack said.
"I think Selitanne," the Doctor said, shifting his knees so he could pull up, moving fingers across Jack's stomach like he was tracing a starmap on the skin. "Something's always happening there. Who knows - might even find…"
"Find what?" Jack said. The Doctor's fingers found his navel, and he gasped. Right, always remember that about Time Lords. They're cold. He let his hand drop down the Doctor's spine, and felt odd muscles tense and roll in response to the pressure.
"Doesn't matter," the Doctor said. His hands idly flicked at Jack's belt, checking across his hips, his erection, his thigh, as if he was taking an inventory. "Won't quite be taking care of that," he said, sweeping his palm up and over Jack's cock again, and it twitched under the trousers. "You'll figure something out."
Jack felt a bit of blood going to the tips of his ears. "Is the commentary really necessary?"
The Doctor shrugged with one shoulder. "Well, seeing as my mouth is not otherwise occupied…"
Jack took the hint - he hoped it was a hint - and reached up, massaging behind the Doctor's ears as he pulled him down and kissed him. The Doctor tasted like still water and fading curry spices and ideas like time and wanderlust and mercy, ideas that shouldn't have a taste but somehow did on him. He kissed him for so long he barely remembered to breathe.
The Doctor blinked when he let him go. "Really, captain, if you don't want me to talk, you can also just ask."
"I think I'd rather do it this way," Jack said. He took the Doctor's hips, sliding his hands up his body, feeling the smooth skin over his bones. "God, Doctor, you - "
"Hm?" The Doctor twisted his head at a weird angle, dancing his fingers up the side of Jack's neck and feeling the carotid pulse, which was accelerating under his fingers. "Something wrong?"
You don't know how long I wanted this Jack thought. He rubbed his hands up the Doctor's body, across his back, not sure where or how to touch but touching him anyway. His hands came down over the Doctor's chest, feeling the strong double-thump of his hearts against his palms. He put his head back, pushed into him, and the Doctor's hand passed over his throat.
"And - right, there we go." The Doctor shifted maybe an inch, but it was the right inch in the right direction, and through some complex system of mechanical advantage Jack didn't believe he'd thought all out, both of them slipped off the couch and went tumbling to the floor. Jack caught himself and slapped the floor to take the sting out of landing, and saw the Doctor curled beside him, eyes on his eyes, curious smile on his lips.
"…ow?" Jack said.
"Trust me," the Doctor said, reaching for his face. "Close your eyes, Jack. Just for a moment. Won't hurt; I promise."
The Doctor didn't need to promise for Jack to trust him. He closed his eyes.
"Excellent." A moment later the Doctor's fingers landed by the corners of his eyes and his mind went… blue. He could feel the cold floor on his bare skin, and the Doctor's cold fingers on his face, and the cool air around him, and for a moment everything ran together. And there was just hands and skin, his and the Doctor's, and the Doctor was all the coolness around him. He swallowed and stretched out his hand and the Doctor tut-tutted, and the quality of the air changed. It was pressing in on him, but pleasantly. It was like being inside the Doctor, where every part of him was being touched, and he could feel the Doctor's two hearts beating and his blood rushing around him. And he also… he felt mortal.
The Doctor made him feel it and feel it more, scraping memories up from the back of his subconscious where he'd forgotten them, a million days of adrenaline and laughter and pain and tears, running through every vein between his feet and the crown of his head. He gasped and arched on the floor, every muscle going to a point beyond tension until he could feel himself vibrating and was sure he must have been screaming something, maybe the Doctor's name and maybe just life, life, life, he was so alive.
And then everything faded out, just before he was about to go mad and snap, and the pervasive sense of Doctor returned to him on two heartbeats and the creeping coolness of the room. The Doctor made a satisfied noise and everything faded out a bit more until everything was black and quiet.
~
He came back up after a minute or two to see the Doctor standing by the door, fastening his buttons and tucking in his shirt. His glasses were on, and his coat was already hanging over his arm. Jack felt damp all over, but it was mostly sweat. The Doctor looked fine and unrumpled.
"Leaving so soon?" Jack said He didn't want to get up just yet.
"Always am," the Doctor said.
Jack rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah."
The Doctor straightened out his pockets, setting off a chorus of little chirps and beeps.
"I feel a bit bad that I didn't do anything for you."
The Doctor turned towards him and looked hurt, but he looked hurt for Jack. He raised both eyebrows and thumbed his pocket. "You can't."
That hurt, like a knife in the gut, and it only hurt more when Jack realized that he didn't know what the Doctor was talking about: the sex, or his life. The Doctor pulled his coat on and adjusted his glasses.
"You sleep," he said. "That will all wear off in a while, and then you'll be back to normal. Well." He quirked his head and looked at the doorway. Then he looked back. "Normal as you can be."
He pushed himself up on his elbows. "Doctor…"
"Sleep, Jack." The Doctor switched off the light, and Jack caught a last glimpse of him grinning before his grin disappeared, Cheshire Cat-like, into his silhouette. "Goodnight."
Jack couldn't see his face and didn't know, but he thought the Doctor's smile vanished when he shut the door.
Jack lay back and felt the floor cold on his shoulders. He wondered if it was really a gift, that he felt this tired. But he'd never been able to sleep, and now he would get to; he closed his eyes and dreamed about the Doctor's cool body across him, the Doctor's cool hands guiding him, the Doctor walking away.
RATING: PG-13 or light, light R.
SPOILERS: "The Last Of The Time Lords." This has nothing to do with "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang."
WARNINGS: Alien sex!
PAIRINGS: Jack/Doctor
SUMMARY:Bit off more than I can chew and I knew what it was leading to, some things, well, I can't refuse. The Doctor stops into Torchwood after Martha leaves him.
WORDS: 2900
~
The door to the Hub sang a whole concerto of noises it didn't usually make and slid open, but not before Jack was hidden in a strategic position behind a desk and waiting with a pistol ready. He was about to call out a warning when a familiar, brown-haired head poked around the corner of the hatch, and a familiar voiced called out "Ello? Is anybody in?"
Jack jumped up, before thinking that it might be a trap. It wasn't. The Doctor had come, unannounced, to Torchwood 3.
"Aha," he said, sauntering in. The door closed behind you. "Thought you might be. Not like you to leave anything unguarded." He smiled.
"Doctor!" Jack said. "This is - well - this… this is a surprise."
The Doctor waved one hand. "Sorry - I know, I should have called."
If Jack hadn't had enough gun training to make him sick, the pistol would have slipped from his fingers quite a few words ago. Instead he re-engaged the safety and laid it carefully on a desk, earmarking it to put back as soon as he no longer had the Doctor to pay attention to. Or he stopped hallucinating that the Doctor was there. "What are you doing here?"
"Noticed the light on. Thought I'd stop by." He looked thin in the Hub's lights. He didn't look frail - the Doctor never looked frail, even old and wizened and imprisoned - but he looked thin, and maybe a little tired. "You don't mind?"
"No! No, of course not." Jack forced himself to laugh to cover his confusion. "Welcome to Torchwood! It's not much, but it's home…"
The Doctor looked around, taking in everything from the cutting-edge computers to the various alien odds and ends. He examined the walls, letting his eyes float up to the cave high above. "Quite a collection of toys, Jack. Be careful with some of those. You've got something living here?"
"Always are. What?" Jack looked up. "Oh, Myfanwy. She and I are the only official residents. But you've come on the one day a week Ianto doesn't fall asleep at his desk."
"Myfanwy," the Doctor said, like he was testing the word.
"Pterodactyl," Jack said. "We kindof adopted her after we found her flying around Cardiff. She's stranded here."
"Like a lot of people," the Doctor said below his breath.
Jack decided not to ask about that, and asked about something else instead. "So, where's Martha?"
"Home," the Doctor said. He turned his neck to look at Jack. "Staying home. Her choice." His eyes stayed on Jack's eyes, and Jack knew he was alone. Alone again? And giving him one more chance, a chance that he couldn't take, so he looked away.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah." The Doctor shrugged and looked at the ceiling again. "This place… this really is a nice place you have here."
"Isn't it?" Jack said, and rubbed his hands together. "Everyone's at home. Asleep. It's just me right now." And you can stay if you want to. Even just for a bit? A day? A few hours?
"Constant vigil." The Doctor nodded. "Know the feeling."
"What are you doing here?" Jack walked toward him, waiting for him to vanish. "I thought you'd be gone as soon as you could."
"From Earth?" The Doctor looked actually surprised.
Jack nodded. "…Staying to make sure everything's all right?"
The Doctor looked very interested in something on the ceiling and ignored him.
Jack stopped the topic immediately. "Do you want coffee? We have some tea, but," he chuckled a little, "damned if I know how to make it."
"Not hard," the Doctor said, returning his eyes to Jack. "Leaves. Water. …Cups."
"Have a seat," Jack said, and waved his hand at the Hub. The Doctor raised an eyebrow at him. "Um," Jack said. "Well, I guess not here."
"No lounge?" the Doctor said. "Poor Torchwod form. Though I did notice you had a little shop…"
"Ianto's baby," Jack said with a grin. "That little information bureau. What's he selling now, pins and - "
"And those little spinny keychains!" the Doctor said, making a little spinny keychain motion with three of his fingers and his wrist. "I have to admit, I did think about lifting one."
"You forget I'm the boss of this place," Jack said. "I could get you one for free."
The Doctor laughed. "Don't cater to me; I'll put Torchwood out of business. Little keychains today, who knows what tomorrow."
"Believe me, I wouldn't mind at all." Jack looked around. "Well, if you wanted to sit… the most comfortable chairs are in my office. My room is a little more private, but…"
"Office'll do."
Jack nodded and showed him the way to the door, letting him inside and sitting on the corner of his desk. The Doctor took the arm of the couch Ianto had special-ordered weeks ago, and drummed his feet on the floor. He stopped as soon as he heard himself.
Jack coughed. "Um, so. Do you have business in Cardiff?"
The Doctor shook his head, "No, I'm just stopping by. Then I'm out again. Back on the road." He shot his hand into the air like a plane taking off.
Jack folded his arms and said the old joke. "No chance of one last shag?" He thought about that a bit more. "One first shag?"
The Doctor looked at him like he was thinking about it. Jack squirmed a bit - he didn't honestly think the Doctor would ever go for it. But then the Doctor had changed, not just in their year with the Master, but before that, too.
"Think you're up to it?"
Jack grinned, still surprised. "Up to it? Doc, you know me…"
"Might not be what you expect," the Doctor said.
"Wouldn't expect it to be."
The Doctor stood up and walked over to stand in front of Jack, feet slightly spread, and put a hand on Jack's shoulder when he tried to stand up. "Look and see."
Jack's heart jumped. He was finally being allowed - invited - to touch this man. He didn't believe it. "Really?"
The Doctor nodded and made a little noise to spur him on.
Jack reached out, resting a hand on his thigh first. The fabric of his trousers was unusually soft, but very strong. No body heat came through the fabric.
He ran his hand up the inside of the Doctor's trousers to his groin, where he felt… a bulge, but this one was skin over smooth bone. The Doctor raised an eyebrow and didn't look the least discomfited or aroused.
"How do you - " Jack said. He looked up to the Doctor's eyes and saw him smiling down at him.
"I'm a Time Lord," he said. "We don't reproduce - well, not like that, anyways. We don't bear children." He saw Jack's confused look. "We're not born. Woven together on looms." He tilted his head. "Genitals seem a bit extraneous after that, don't they?"
"Well," Jack said. "I hope you weren't teasing me, Doctor, because now I'm curious."
The Doctor glanced at the door, fingered something in his pocket, and then just locked it normally. "Just follow my lead," he said, taking off his coat and laying it on the desk.
Jack stood and pulled his coat off. "With you so far."
"Lie down," the Doctor said, motioning to his office couch. "There. On your back."
Jack swallowed. If it was anyone but the Doctor he wouldn't be nervous, but he trusted the Doctor with his life and more. He lay down on the couch, listening to the little creaks the leather made.
The Doctor sat down next to his hip, hipbones touching, and pulled off his tie. "Anxiety," he pronounced. "No judgments here." He twisted his torso to reach across Jack and snap the clips of the braces off. Jack could feel the blood pumping between his legs already.
"Do I just - " Jack said.
"Do what you like," the Doctor said. He could have said it dismissively but it sounded like an invitation. Jack reached up to take his shoulders, and the Toctor turned toward him. He pushed his hands into the couch, one on the cushion so that his cuff rubbed into Jack's neck, one on the back so the cushion pulled away from Jack's shoulder. He moved again, pulling his leg onto the couch so he straddled Jack.
Jack took his hips, steadying him while he found his balance. He was surprisingly light. But solid; he had the skin and bones and muscles from a lifetime of running and fighting and being who he was. Do what you like, Jack thought to himself, and reached up to pull the suit coat off the Doctor's thin frame. The Doctor adjusted his perch, shins and knees gripping Jack's hips and stomach.
"Why are you doing this?" Jack said. Great time to develop an insecurity, he thought. Why can't I just shut up?
"Gesture of appreciation," the Doctor said distantly. "You've had a rough year." He set to work at Jack's buttons, neatly undoing each one.
"Like you haven't," Jack said, mirroring his action and inhaling sharply as inch after inch of skin was revealed. The Doctor's skin was almost pristine. Little scars, little cuts here and there, and he touched one before guessing where it was from. "You had the worst of it."
"No," the Doctor said. He didn't sound hurt by the memory, but his voice retreated a bit more to sound even more distant. "That was Martha."
Jack continued with the buttons with one hand, one hand on the Doctor's chest, feeling him breath. No heat here, either: his skin was cool and dry, even though Jack could feel the blood running through the blood vessels, and the Doctor was moving and alive atop him. "I'm sorry."
"So am I." The Doctor sounded like they had come to some amiable agreement. He sunk down a bit, opening Jack's shirt completely. Jack found himself wishing that he'd undo certain other buttons, buttons on fabric that might be getting pretty tight. "But that's all over with."
Jack slid his hand down the Doctor's stomach, stopping just above his pelvis. "No navel?"
"Wasn't born," the Doctor said. He leaned into Jack's hand like he was trying to bring them closer together, and Jack reared up to meet him.
The Doctor laid his cheek on Jack's neck and arched his back, pressing his palms into his chest. Jack's heart sunk because he could read him too well - they were having goodbye sex, can't-stay sex, we're-alone sex, not-in-love sex, keeping air between them. The Doctor had always been so terribly alone, but this new regeneration didn't wear it as well. It was wearing on him. They were trying to be as close as they could be and still get up and leave each other forever. He was getting uncomfortably hard, but that wasn't what hurt. "You're leaving again, after this."
"That's what I told you."
Jack took the back of he Doctor's neck and rubbed his fingers right behind his ear, and the Doctor made an odd trill-y purr at the back of his neck. "Where to?" Jack said.
"I think Selitanne," the Doctor said, shifting his knees so he could pull up, moving fingers across Jack's stomach like he was tracing a starmap on the skin. "Something's always happening there. Who knows - might even find…"
"Find what?" Jack said. The Doctor's fingers found his navel, and he gasped. Right, always remember that about Time Lords. They're cold. He let his hand drop down the Doctor's spine, and felt odd muscles tense and roll in response to the pressure.
"Doesn't matter," the Doctor said. His hands idly flicked at Jack's belt, checking across his hips, his erection, his thigh, as if he was taking an inventory. "Won't quite be taking care of that," he said, sweeping his palm up and over Jack's cock again, and it twitched under the trousers. "You'll figure something out."
Jack felt a bit of blood going to the tips of his ears. "Is the commentary really necessary?"
The Doctor shrugged with one shoulder. "Well, seeing as my mouth is not otherwise occupied…"
Jack took the hint - he hoped it was a hint - and reached up, massaging behind the Doctor's ears as he pulled him down and kissed him. The Doctor tasted like still water and fading curry spices and ideas like time and wanderlust and mercy, ideas that shouldn't have a taste but somehow did on him. He kissed him for so long he barely remembered to breathe.
The Doctor blinked when he let him go. "Really, captain, if you don't want me to talk, you can also just ask."
"I think I'd rather do it this way," Jack said. He took the Doctor's hips, sliding his hands up his body, feeling the smooth skin over his bones. "God, Doctor, you - "
"Hm?" The Doctor twisted his head at a weird angle, dancing his fingers up the side of Jack's neck and feeling the carotid pulse, which was accelerating under his fingers. "Something wrong?"
You don't know how long I wanted this Jack thought. He rubbed his hands up the Doctor's body, across his back, not sure where or how to touch but touching him anyway. His hands came down over the Doctor's chest, feeling the strong double-thump of his hearts against his palms. He put his head back, pushed into him, and the Doctor's hand passed over his throat.
"And - right, there we go." The Doctor shifted maybe an inch, but it was the right inch in the right direction, and through some complex system of mechanical advantage Jack didn't believe he'd thought all out, both of them slipped off the couch and went tumbling to the floor. Jack caught himself and slapped the floor to take the sting out of landing, and saw the Doctor curled beside him, eyes on his eyes, curious smile on his lips.
"…ow?" Jack said.
"Trust me," the Doctor said, reaching for his face. "Close your eyes, Jack. Just for a moment. Won't hurt; I promise."
The Doctor didn't need to promise for Jack to trust him. He closed his eyes.
"Excellent." A moment later the Doctor's fingers landed by the corners of his eyes and his mind went… blue. He could feel the cold floor on his bare skin, and the Doctor's cold fingers on his face, and the cool air around him, and for a moment everything ran together. And there was just hands and skin, his and the Doctor's, and the Doctor was all the coolness around him. He swallowed and stretched out his hand and the Doctor tut-tutted, and the quality of the air changed. It was pressing in on him, but pleasantly. It was like being inside the Doctor, where every part of him was being touched, and he could feel the Doctor's two hearts beating and his blood rushing around him. And he also… he felt mortal.
The Doctor made him feel it and feel it more, scraping memories up from the back of his subconscious where he'd forgotten them, a million days of adrenaline and laughter and pain and tears, running through every vein between his feet and the crown of his head. He gasped and arched on the floor, every muscle going to a point beyond tension until he could feel himself vibrating and was sure he must have been screaming something, maybe the Doctor's name and maybe just life, life, life, he was so alive.
And then everything faded out, just before he was about to go mad and snap, and the pervasive sense of Doctor returned to him on two heartbeats and the creeping coolness of the room. The Doctor made a satisfied noise and everything faded out a bit more until everything was black and quiet.
~
He came back up after a minute or two to see the Doctor standing by the door, fastening his buttons and tucking in his shirt. His glasses were on, and his coat was already hanging over his arm. Jack felt damp all over, but it was mostly sweat. The Doctor looked fine and unrumpled.
"Leaving so soon?" Jack said He didn't want to get up just yet.
"Always am," the Doctor said.
Jack rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah."
The Doctor straightened out his pockets, setting off a chorus of little chirps and beeps.
"I feel a bit bad that I didn't do anything for you."
The Doctor turned towards him and looked hurt, but he looked hurt for Jack. He raised both eyebrows and thumbed his pocket. "You can't."
That hurt, like a knife in the gut, and it only hurt more when Jack realized that he didn't know what the Doctor was talking about: the sex, or his life. The Doctor pulled his coat on and adjusted his glasses.
"You sleep," he said. "That will all wear off in a while, and then you'll be back to normal. Well." He quirked his head and looked at the doorway. Then he looked back. "Normal as you can be."
He pushed himself up on his elbows. "Doctor…"
"Sleep, Jack." The Doctor switched off the light, and Jack caught a last glimpse of him grinning before his grin disappeared, Cheshire Cat-like, into his silhouette. "Goodnight."
Jack couldn't see his face and didn't know, but he thought the Doctor's smile vanished when he shut the door.
Jack lay back and felt the floor cold on his shoulders. He wondered if it was really a gift, that he felt this tired. But he'd never been able to sleep, and now he would get to; he closed his eyes and dreamed about the Doctor's cool body across him, the Doctor's cool hands guiding him, the Doctor walking away.
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on 2008-01-18 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 04:13 am (UTC)I had a friend who wanted to see more-alien sex, and I do what I can!
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on 2008-01-18 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 04:22 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 04:18 am (UTC)*giggle* Interestingly alien perspective! (Although the pedant in me notes that Nine certainly does (http://ninthdoctor.time-and-space.co.uk/coppermine/displayimage.php?album=10&pos=419)... ;) )
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on 2008-01-18 04:21 am (UTC)Thanks!
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on 2008-01-18 04:23 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 04:32 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 05:57 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 04:08 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 07:21 am (UTC)Such a sad, bittersweet story. How very much alike are these two characters, so alone and lonely even when in the company of others.
Thank you for sharing this.
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on 2008-01-18 04:16 pm (UTC)And it's true… and they try to play it off and act happy, but it's never really true for them is it?
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on 2008-01-18 01:38 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-18 04:17 pm (UTC)I agree… the Doctor needs a hug. Let's all line up :)
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on 2008-01-18 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-19 03:03 am (UTC)Yeah… the looms are so much fun to think about, but so aggravating at the same time. It's really one topic of Doctor Who I think people can just make stuff up about… you know?
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on 2008-01-18 11:09 pm (UTC)"Do what you like," the Doctor said. He could have said it dismissively but it sounded like an invitation.
I almost fell off my chair! I'd give a kidney for the Doctor to give me an invitation like that. Thank you so much for sharing! I hope we see lots more from you!
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on 2008-01-19 03:04 am (UTC)Hehe… I know what *I'd* like to do with the Doctor… all he needs to do is ask XD
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on 2008-01-19 09:26 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-19 08:27 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-19 09:32 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-19 08:27 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-19 10:01 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-19 10:15 pm (UTC)Thanks!
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on 2008-01-20 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-20 10:39 pm (UTC)And that's part of what i love about this pairing… that you just *know* this isn't a couple where everything will work out perfectly…
And the alien sex! I think I need to write more alien sex.
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on 2008-01-21 03:28 am (UTC)Sorry. Looms always make me giggle. This was beautifully done, though. We really don't know for sure what's going on under that pinstripe suit, or how compatible it is with human physiology. You really captured that gulf, and how Jack might respond to it. Lovely.
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on 2008-01-21 11:12 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading!
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on 2008-01-25 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-01-28 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-02-26 11:47 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-03-29 12:33 pm (UTC)The concept of Jack Harkness falling desperately soul crushingly in love with someone who is essentially asexual is just so beautifuly tragically hilariously painfully ironic.
I cried. I really did. You made me cry. Shame on you. Do it AGAIN!
I loved all the description of the sex. It FEELS alien and one-sided. All the mentions of the doctor being cold, and how he's unrumpled afterwards (whereas Jack's sweaty and breathless) just lovely. I love how the doctor's trying to give Jack something but he physically (and emotionally) CAN'T, and how it's enough for Jack that he's bothering to try anyway. I love how they're trying to find some common ground to express how much they care about each other that goes beyond the limitations of their species.
I love that after the Doctor mentions Jack's erection and then says "Well, seeing as my mouth is not otherwise occupied…" Jack doesn't think blow job, he thinks kiss. Because a kiss is something that can be reciprocated and Jack wants to MAKE LOVE.
And this line "Jack's heart sunk because he could read him too well - they were having goodbye sex, can't-stay sex, we're-alone sex, not-in-love sex, keeping air between them." It slayed me. Because Jack IS in love, and oh my wow, just ouch. Jack's love is just so beautiful. It's in every line of this story and it's so gorgeous. The last line too, just *wails*.
I'm sorry; I'm talking too much. You need to write more ten/Jack, although after this where to go... I'm friending you because if you write like this all the time I need to know when you have something new out.
Thankyou, I enjoyed this story imensely.
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on 2008-06-06 07:00 pm (UTC)Jack/Doctor is so… I don't want to say tragic because in a lot of ways "tragic" is such a cliche, but it *is*. Just the idea of Jack following him for *so many years*, only to find out when they meet up again that they've both changed too much, and having to let that go… It's beautiful, but it hurts a lot on so many levels.
And Jack *is* so in love. I love him ♥ I really do believe that he falls in love a bit with everyone on his team, and the Doctor, and Rose and Martha, and… really, I just think he's that kind of person, even when he doesn't think he is/tries not to be.
Aah! What happened? I'm turning into a shameless romantic! :P
I'll probably need to go write bloodplay or something dark now to get the romance out of my mouth…